When Emotions Move Families Forward

7 December 2025

I have always journalled. Long before I knew anything about neuroscience or mediation frameworks, I simply wrote because it felt necessary. As a young child, it was instinctive. It was a way to process the swirl of thoughts and emotions I couldn’t articulate out loud. I never thought of it as anything technical or therapeutic. It was just something that helped me breathe a little easier.

Decades later, as I explore the research that helps me better support families, I realise that what I was doing instinctively is something science has spent years trying to understand. In fact, three decades of research demonstrates that even two to four expressive writing sessions that focus on the source of stress can have measurable psychological benefits months later.[1] The act of putting feelings into words, even private words that no one else will read, appears to shift something in the brain that allows people to process, regulate and move forward.

As a mediator, this has become one of the most powerful insights in my work. People often arrive in mediation saying they are “fighting about finances” or “disagreeing about time with the children,” but beneath the legal question is almost always a feeling that hasn’t yet been named. Fear. Grief. Uncertainty. A loss of control. A need for stability. Once that feeling is acknowledged (even briefly, even imperfectly) the whole dynamic changes.

This is not just observational wisdom. It is grounded in well-established research. The 2007 Lieberman study, one of the most frequently cited in this field, demonstrates that naming an emotion reduces amygdala activity, the part of the brain responsible for our alarm responses.[2] In other words, putting a feeling into words helps the brain settle. The emotional “charge” softens, and people become better able to think clearly and problem-solve.

Further studies show that affect labeling overlaps with other well-known emotion-regulation strategies. It activates areas of the prefrontal cortex involved in regulation and decision-making, which suggests that naming emotions is not simply therapeutic “fluff” but a valid mechanism for emotional stabilisation, even in high-conflict settings such as divorce mediation.[3]

What is most encouraging is that the benefits can last. A 2017 study linking affect labeling to expressive writing found improvements in psychological wellbeing over time — increased stability, reduced anxiety, and better overall emotional processing.[1] This reinforces something I see again and again: when people are given space to articulate what they are really feeling, not just what they are demanding, mediation becomes more durable and meaningful.

And importantly, this process does not require complex therapeutic language. In practical settings, simple labels — sad, angry, overwhelmed, scared — are often enough.[4] That simplicity makes the process accessible to anyone, whether they are navigating the end of a marriage or, in my case, a toddler trying to understand his world. The same skill I try to model and teach at home is one I rely on daily in my work.

Naming what we feel is not a minor step. It is a doorway to clarity, connection and resolution — and science continues to show us why.

Footnotes: [1] Neural activity during affect labeling predicts expressive writing effects on well-being: GLM and SVM approaches – PMC. [2] Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling disrupts amygdala activity in response to affective stimuli (Lieberman et al., Psychological Science, 2007). [3] The common and distinct neural bases of affect labeling and reappraisal in healthy adults (Conway et al.; Lieberman and colleagues). [4] Findings from affect-labeling research demonstrating that basic emotional vocabulary is sufficient for regulation.